I can't watch pbs sober anymore
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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