he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
