My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
