Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
