Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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