At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize