You work out of a Hotel?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
