I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
