Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
