me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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