Fuck appropriateness.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
