quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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