speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
