I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
