Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
