I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
