he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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