Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
