ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
