But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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