my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
