So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
