you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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