Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
