they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
