Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
