and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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