Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
