THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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