Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
