STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
