Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
