With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize