you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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