Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
