do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
