Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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