3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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