Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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