So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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