I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am one with the molecules
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
