Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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