Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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