I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
