So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I woke up under a house in Key West
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
