Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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