"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
