This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize