i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
