sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
