she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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