Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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