Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
