chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
