is your mom at the bar?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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