So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
