shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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