I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
