it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
