hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
