They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
