the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
