You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
