Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize