No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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