He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
