Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
