So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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