I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
