She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
