i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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