one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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