I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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