you traded sex for a burrito?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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