quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
