Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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