I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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