how do flat chested girls get laid?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
