Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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