OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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